Category Archives: Uncategorized

“The Longest Day”

Standard

Since it’s beyond obvious, I’ll not bore you with another line about how long it’s been since I’ve been here to my happy place. A place where I’ve shared parts of my soul, my past, and my heart hurts. A place that’s helped me heal and move forward. Thank you Jesus!

June 21, 2017. The summer solstice. The longest day of the year and I’m as behind as I always am, only now I can’t figure out why.  Our kids have long since fled the nest and our grands are changing at an alarming rate. I work part time and still feel like the hours just leave me in the dust. My husband retired this month. RETIRED. I, we, can’t seem to wrap our heads around it. We have plans that, if God will it, have our hearts racing with cautious excitement.

After last Spring and Summer I hold my breath a lot these days. I’ve learned to plan but stay restrained. I’ve learned to hope but only in Jesus, not mankind or life. I’ve learned how to be happy down deep, even if it doesn’t quite make it to the surface, or shine in my eyes. I’ve learned to let go of so many things that weighed me down. Finally, I’ve learned that aging is pretty cool. There are a lot of freedoms that come with that!! Yes, I still hate bathing suits, but then I think I always have. I try to avoid full length mirrors at all costs, especially with fluorescent lights. Mercy.

I bemoaned my lost youth to my mom the other day she asked, “Patti…are you happy?” Thankfully I could reply yes. Very much so. She then said, “so let the rest go.” I think for once in my life I’ll heed my mamma’s advice. God loves me, then and now. He still has a plan for my life.

Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Some time in August you’ll find me on www.godsizeddreams.com where the theme for that month is something like, reaching for your dreams even as you age. May I just say, it ain’t easy?!

Stay strong brothers and sisters. Stay in the Word and be a light in a world gone mad.

 

 

Advertisements

When My Spring Comes…

Standard

Spring. Unpredictable weather. Thunder storms. March winds. April Fools. Warm teasing sunny days. Snow slipping in for a final blow. Birds gathering nest materials. Male seeking female. Procreation. The pink, yellow and silky white of blossoms against a back drop of mint green. The sleeping mountains waking up.

Promise.

There is something about the Spring season. For this particular year, this flash in my life, Spring’s abstract nature is in complete accord with my own. More than at any other time in my life. The culmination of years has funneled down to our here and now. Rain swollen banks giving way under the pressure of life. I don’t want to use the term last chapter of my life…I prefer saying the next chapter. I don’t want to use the term, Golden Years, either, as I’ve yet to see it’s shiny glint. Perhaps it’s been dulled by the regret of time poorly spent.

For now, I guess, I’m in the Fall of life. Seems fitting. My leaves are a bit faded and crumpled. My life’s blood is slowly draining…leaving me a little less colorful. And it’s okay. That is the beauty of this season. Even as winter approaches and it’s harder to get warm, I’m learning to be perfectly okay with it. Yes, my focus has narrowed. The spectrum will probably narrow still more in the coming years, if I’m granted them. Acceptance. That is God’s gracious gift to me, to all of those in my particular forest.  It is VICTORY!
Where, O death, is your victory?” read more…

Spring will come again. To those who choose to follow Christ, reaching the end of our winter means only that we’ll be sown, tended, then, praise God, raised up new!!

Find me at www.godsizeddreams.com on April 12th.

Standard

My last post…January 6th and here it is March 4th. Wow.

Life just keeps happening. The vortex of time has swept me up in twist after painful twist. The landing has left me feeling bemused. That I can still delude myself into thinking everything is okay amazes me. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still know in my heart I’m blessed beyond measure. I still know that it’s God’s presence in my life that keeps me from giving up. Drowning. But now I know how to savor each day when there is no drama. When there is no mind blowing happening looking to swallow me whole. When there isn’t one element or another grappling for a piece of me. One moment at a time, one breath.

How I’ve changed in the last five or six years.

Physical appearance is only the beginning. I don’t know whose face that is in my mirror every morning…surely not mine?  I see it in my eyes, and in the lines of my face, the results of a life lived with some regrets. Not just my own. I know what empathy is. I hurt for those I love too. I know that I want to pave the way for others to see a better way. To make better choices and not make some of my mistakes, or some I’ve seen loved ones make. It’s with a since of helplessness that I watch as the spinning force slams into hearts I cherish. And I pray. Today, thus far, is a good day. The sky is blue, the sun is bright, and the air has that… warm weather is on it’s way feel. It’s hard not to feel hopeful in the Spring. I’m going to grasp that with both hands today.

I set out on my venture with Blessed? You Bet! to provide a place for my words. More than that though, I’d hoped to provide a place for others to read about some of my struggles. That others could empathize with me, or even see some light at the end of their own vortex. Now in addition to my own blog, I’ve been given the honor and privilege of being invited to write for the, “God-sized Dreams” blog. I’m so excited to be a part of this group of Godly women. I know I will grow and be inspired by them. My first essay will go live on GSD on April 12th. Please don’t wait for mine though…go now and take a look! Be inspired by these faithful, talented writers! I know I’ve been.

May God bless you this day with His peace!

*It’s in the looking back that I see, really see, that I’ve overcome a lot of, “ now known unknowns.”  Tune in for more at God-sized Dreams 4/12/17

 

 

 

Reposting “I am August”

Standard

A tragic event in March of this year left my families lives turned upside down. It’s not my story to tell. Suffice it to say our balance has yet to be regained. If anything mid July saw it thrown off once again. I would say I’ll be happy to see the back side of 2016…but I have to wonder what 2017 will herald in? 

I can’t seem to write. Nothing will come and I feel rather empty. In light of that, forgive me for reposting a piece I wrote around this time last year. I marvel at what has transpired since then.

~I am August~

     August…a peculiar month. The heat of summer has become wearisome. All of the late summer weed monsters are tall, gnarled up masses come to torment. The leaves aren’t changing color but they’re changed, their luster lost and tired looking. Different.  So subtlety the day’s length shortens. The sun doesn’t bother to show its self till late morning, fighting the wet fog hanging in the tree tops. Its heat feels hot, yet not, its intensity waning in these latter weeks. Sporadic storms feed the clammy humidity. The seasonal insects don’t cease their noise. There’s an odd expectancy in August. It closes out summer which passes by as fast as ice cubes melt in sweet tea. The breeze…nonexistent. But the nights…oh the star filled nights! Screech owls join with the Cicadas lending mystery and goose bumps to the dark.
Harvest has been in full bounty for weeks. The beans and corn are put up, the garden is fizzling out. Thirty pound yellow belly watermelons lie in their vines, ready now for spoon and salt. The pumpkins are coming on nicely. Ice cream has lost some of its appeal except to anticipate topping warm, fresh baked apple pie. Acorns are raining down; squirrels are busy storing and stealing them from one another. The woods…alive with scurrying. Hummingbirds are dipping into withered up flowers, departing soon for parts unknown. Goldfinches feasting on full golden sun flowers. Turkeys are roving the woods gobbling. Even the clover is withering, much to the rabbit’s dismay.
For the first time in my years August resonates in my heart. The length of my days are numbered and I no longer appear the same. My thoughts bewilder me; like a hazy mist clouding the simplest decisions. I long for the brace of October winds to chase away the dank, cloying thoughts as leaves from the trees. I need the frost to freeze and destroy the atrocious imaginings seeking to destroy. I wait with eagerness for something…anything to happen, but have no idea what. I covet the slow quiet of snow falling in the woods…so silent the flakes can be heard landing. Then a herd of deer are blowing, pawing the snow as they move through the dusk, translucent in the woods.
My heart clamors, its Christ’s return I wait for! I must gather and store up His teachings and feast on His word. I must trust that His breath of life will sweep through my inmost being. Restore me Lord! I know that the sword of truth and the breast plate of righteousness will keep the insidious away. I will rest in the tranquility of prayer. Be still my soul, wait for His whispering will to land softly in your heart. I will embrace this perplexing season of preparation even as I wither and change. I will praise Him. I’m alive and well and whole. My harvesting tools must be honed. I will draw from the nectar of His Spirit and ready myself for the flight to eternity.

I am August.

“Time Flew…!”

Standard

Greetings!

I’m ashamed to say I have nothing prepared to post this week…where have the last seven days gone?

I do know that the last two days have been beautiful here in Eastern Tennessee and it gives me hope for the weeks ahead. We’re almost through the ground hog hearts of February. I look forward to the shamrock green March winds, knowing it can blow the weather either way. I love the April showers and thunder storms as cold loses its  battle to the warmer temperatures. Must we suffer being fooled from time to time? Spring is beckoning at the end of Winter’s tunnel. New growth, new beginnings, a fresh breath.

The forty day season of Lent. Spring. Easter. Death. Resurrection. New life. I believe God planned the timing out just right. We relate to visual stimulus and there is nothing more beautiful than new life. The mint green of new leaves budding on trees, the tender shoots of Daffodils or Crocus flowers. The sight of a baby in utero. Our Easter comes in the throes of Spring which is so symbolic. When we accept Christ as our personal Savior our old self dies away. The seeds of our nature fall to receptive soil, we’re watered with the baptism of the Holy Spirit and made new. Brand new budding creatures that long for the Son’s rays of hope and life…ever reaching toward the warmth.

I will always encourage you to read the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, but especially during this season. Read of the birth, death and resurrection of our Lord, our Messiah. If you’ve fallen away He’s waiting for you to turn around so He can dust you off, and set you back on the right path. If you’ve never sought the Lord before I urge you to do so now. He already loves you so much that He sent His only Son here to be the atoning sacrifice for you. For me.

John 3:16-18 (The Message-MSG) 16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.

Don’t let time continue to slip by thinking you have plenty of it. We all know the reality of how quickly it can pass us by.  I’ll let Jesus explain:

32 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 33 Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. 34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. 35 “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. 36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”                         Mark 13:32-37 (NIV)

May God bless richly bless the reader of these passages.

In Him,
~pdh~